Dares Can Be Bad For Your Health
by XxXDark-LightxXx
Summary: Cartman, Stan, Kenny, Craig, and Token are doing a dare: Get Tweek Tweak in a dress. Unfortunately, Tweek can become very violent...
1. The Start

It was the biggest dare of the year. Bigger than turning Wendy's hair blue. Bigger than taking Butters' 'Hello Kitty Island Adventures' game hostage and him kiss Shelly Marsh. Even bigger than breaking into the school office and playing vulgar songs on the intercom

"This dare could mean life… or death,"Cartman had said as the usual betters had met up in his basement. Stan, Kenny, Craig, and Token sat in front of the fat boy, looking excited as they waited to hear what the challenge was.

Off to the side was a bucket full of dollars. This was the prize for whoever completed the dare.

"It might cause some major injuries. And it could damage your mental health," Cartman paused for effect, frustrating an impatient Craig. "Just tell us already!" he said, flipping the larger boy off.

This made Eric smile as he revealed two words on the chalkboard. Almost everyone paled, excitement quickly dissipating into fear and anxiety.

"You can't be serious," Stan muttered nervously.

"Yes Stanley, I am."

"He'll kick our asses!" Kenny yelled, standing up from his chair.

Everyone started but Cartman and Token began to argue. "Calm down everyone," Token said in a loud voice, "We don't even know what the dare is yet!" He turned and faced the board, which said 'Tweek Tweak' on it.

Ah, Tweek. Paranoid, irritable, spasmodic Tweek. After his fight with Craig, the spastic blonde had grown a passion for fighting. He had grown aggressive as more people deemed him an easy target over the years. A skinny, twitchy victim. Only most didn't know that Tweek has yet to loose a fight, the closest being his tie with Craig.

But all the South Park kids knew.

Once all the boys calmed down, Cartman looked each of them in the eye. "The dare," he started slowly, "Is to get Tweek Tweak… into… a…" Pause, more effect, "Dress."

Silence.

"Don't be such pussies, you guys," Eric rolled his eyes at the shocked teens. "It's the _ultimate_ dare." Slowly, each boy began to agree, smiling mischievously and plotting. The _ultimate_ dare. Bragging rights, over one hundred dollars as prize, and the hilarity of one of the toughest guys in school in a dress.

This was all bound to end in either complete success or utter chaos.


	2. Operation: Coax With Coffee

**Author's Note:** I plan to finish all (or at least most) of this fanfic in one night! Wish me luck...

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**Stan's Attempt.**

_**Operation: Coax With Caffiene.**_

The first rule that the boys had made when first making this 'club' in fifth grade, was that the one who had the most losses went first. And Stan hadn't won a bet since last year, where they had to steal Mr. Hat from Mr. Garrison. He needed this money so he could save up for a car.

And to win this bet, he knew one way into Tweek's mind: Coffee.

Making a full pot, Stan called up the blonde and invited him over. Even if Tweek was violent, he was a South Park kid and, by default, friends with _all_ the South Park kids. He accepted without suspicion, saying he'd be over in a few. Stan watched the coffee as it seeped into the glass container, hoping that the coffee would soothe Tweek into a simple, non-violent rejection or agreement. Hopefully an agreement.

The raven-haired teen rushed to the door when he heard knocking, happily letting his companion in. "Hey Tweek. Want some coffee?" There wasn't really a point in asking since the blonde always agreed. Stan watched silently as Tweek prepared his coffee. Once he began drinking, Stan asked, "Could you, ah, do me a favor?"

"Mm hm."

"W-well there's this thing I have to do, and it involves you... in a dress," the taller teen whispered the last part, but Tweek still heard it. Chocking on his coffee, he looked at Stan in horror. "What the hell? _Why_?"

Second rule of the 'club': _Never_ tell the challenge to outsiders. "It's um... _Trent!" _Stan said, thinking quickly, "He's got this weird blonde-guys-in-dresses fetish and he threatened to beat the living shit out of me if I didn't get him a picture of one." He threw the blonde a pleading look, and the latter began to ponder this while sipping coffee. "...Only one picture?" Tweek asked. _Yes!_ Stan thought happily, "Yup!"

Putting the cup in the sink, the spastic teen said, "Get Butters to do it." With that, he left the house. The dark-haired teen groaned, his chance was up. And unless everyone else failed, he wouldn't be getting another one.

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Dammit, these things aren't even 500 words . Ah well. Hope you like it. I already know who wins~


	3. Operation: Spaz Seduction

**Author's Note:** Ugh, my goal probably won't be made ~ I gotta make these longer too...

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**Kennys Attempt.**

_**Operation: Spaz Seduction**_

Tweek began to feel bad for Stan as he left his house. Trent was a tough person to fight against, though not Tweek's hardest opponent. That would be Christophe. Damn Frenchie and his shovel. Bill and Fosse were hard too, but that's probably because it was two against one.

Tweek let himself drift into the happy memories of his past victories, not noticing a taller blonde approaching him.

Kenny knew his plan would either end in a win-win situation, or another death. He hoped it would be the former, since the plan involved sex with Tweek. Tweek had come out the closet the beginning of High School, and had no boyfriend. At least, not that Kenny heard of, and Kenny knew everything about everyone. The death-prone teen knew that next to no one could resist his charm. Only Craig could, and Kenny was convinced that the noirette was asexual.

So, Kenny's plan was to trick Tweek into the cross-dressing fetish he had, take a picture, and have hot man sex. _Because there's no hot sex like hot man sex, _he thought happily, _And once I get the money, I can buy food and porn!_ Kenny captured Tweek in a tight hug from behind, resulting in a surprised shriek from the latter.

"What's up, Tweekers?" Kenny said innocently.

"Jesus FUCKING Christ, Ken! You scared the shit out of me!"

"Aw, sorry Tweeky..."

"Gah! It's okay. Could you let -_ngh_- go oh m-AH!"

Kenny's hands drifted low to grope at his twitchy captive's ass. Resulting in the taller of the two getting elbowed in the crotch. Doubling over, he could see Tweek's pissed-off expression as the latter swung his fist into Kenny's face. Groaning in pain, he touched his face gingerly, wincing. "What the hell?" Kenny yelled, earning an icy glare from the other.

"That's what _I_ should be -_ACK_- saying! God damn it, first Stan and the dress, now you and the groping! Ugh..."

Tweek walked away quickly, embarrassed at the two event that happened today. Not the most normal Saturday he ever had, though not the weirdest either.

Kenny sighed softly as the twitch figure grew smaller and smaller. No food or porn for him now... He got up and walked into the general direction of his house. Then he got ran over by a truck that appear from no where.

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I'm sorry. Kenny just HAD to die some where in here D: oh and remember kiddies: Never grope a Tweek. Because he will beat you up and cause you to get run over by magical cars :3 Reviews are nice... AND THIS STILL IS BARELY MORE THAN 500 FUCKING WORDS DX DAMMIT!


End file.
